So let’s get lazy.
|Doritos Bag Tail Light Lazy Special|
Going Green Through Laziness tip of the week: Don’t Go Anywhere.
Going places is overrated. If you can’t find it on Google Street View and there’s no videos of it on youtube, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s not worth your time to experience it in the flesh. Don’t pick out a cruise or check out how much a euro rail pass is. Plan a staycation instead. Map out the areas of your house that you’ll get drunk in. Explore the wild frontier of your domicile. If you have a roommate, spy on him. If you have a neighbor, look at em from your window. Wear a cape.
“Everyone goes through their own personal Vietnam.” – E
I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE NO MATH.
FAT ANIMAL TIME.
|Red Fat Monkey Standing By|
I love them. They’re the personification that I look for in a fellow earth-dweller. I mean, you can’t get more human than being a fat version of whatever animal you are. Funfact: Fat animals are easier to catch and cuddle.
|Red Dog Pillow Standing By|
I’m highly allergic to animals. It doesn’t keep me from wanting to be around them. I just have to suffer the consequences that may result in me having to carry around multiple epi-pens. It’s sort of like the people you know that are lactose intolerant but they still eat cheese and ice cream all the time. They just suffer in a different way. It’s called butt-suffering.
|Red Cat Pillow Standing By|
I’m pretty cynical when it comes to allergies. People with allergies to food, to pollen, and ragweed are also very accepted; while the people allergic to pets are commonly referred to as nerds and bubble-boys. My parents have a cat and he is just so cute. I want to love him into oblivion, but his hair also likes to sneak into my eyes and throat. HE IS TRYING TO KILL ME. So he stays outside of my parent’s house in hopes of keeping me coming by for visits. They bring the cat to the vet to get his shots and the vets ask why he’s an outdoor cat. Their son is allergic is apparently an insufficient response. The Vets tell my parents that I should wear a mask like they do in the ER and nerd guy across the street wears when he’s mowing the grass. This is what I get from that exchange of thoughts and ideas: People want me to wear an apparatus around my head anytime I’m indoors so that I can have a cohort of kitty meow meows and fatty dogs around me.
|Red Leader Standing By|
Stinky Feet Stabbin
Have an album release party in Moscow, maybe it'll blow up.
Sony's a little late to the party but will give Rhapsody a run for their money.
Going green through Mongolian Grill
Holy Shit the Juice Weasel is dead