So I stayed with it. Where was I going until 5:30pm besides to the bathroom 14 more times to kill 7.5 minutes a pop? People were arguing over the validity of the claim that the astrology calendar has been off for a hundred years. Others were saying that it was a hoax. Some people were referencing their tattoos of the sign that they were indoctrinated with since birth. I feel for ya. There are dumb tattoos and then there are really dumb tattoos, but the person who has a Scorpio tattoo (badass) has to somehow augment that tat to reflect his newfound Libra status (scales)?
People went on about their astrological personality traits and the books they’ve read about their compatibility with other signs. It’s all really whale songs to me because I don’t believe in that stuff. It’s one small precarious step away from a fortune cookie. I mean, if the astrological signs were worth a damn, they’d be mostly terrible in their premonitions and character traits.
So you’re a Pisces? You like to steal Sci-Fi DVDs from parties and lie about your age online.
You’re a Gemini? Guess who has intimacy issues and gets to die alone!?
Virgo, you say? I keep shaking this Magic 8 ball and it just keeps coming up with ”fuckyourself”
And on and on. There should be a least a smidgen of doom in each horoscope.
There’s also the talk that no one is affected by this change besides the people born after 2010. How fucking stupid is that? It’s like saying that you were an American, but we just recently found out that America is actually Canada. Don’t worry, though, you’re still American because we were dumb for a hundred years. All new babies are Canadian btw.
Who am I kidding? I like to envision the violence that people who subscribe to astrology would wreak. But I know in my heart of hearts that they will just put crystals on their foreheads and perform Reiki until I strangle myself with a telephone cord.