Streets of Rage 4: Twitter in the suburbs

So how did I not know about this?

Apparently, it's "exciting" and "interesting." And I thought my obsession with the horsedick meme was unwarranted. I am actually a pioneer of the faith that all bodily fluids belong, at least at one point, in someone's stomach. This just affirms my belief that we're sick and destined to start eating each other by the end of 2050 in the name of exciting, interesting cuisine. No longer will a simple dog or cat suffice as a means to make someone throw up in their mouth a hundred times over as the subject of a webvideo that was ripped from The Faces of Death Series. There will be none of that Traces of Death crap here. SPK Despair cannot be undone, however. So it is destined to rot in my brainal forever. And hay, it's been re released on DVD making sure to preserve all the static, high pitched squeals, horseface eating and necrophilia! LolOlollOLlLol! Can't wait for the blu ray.

We can have a healthy HD revolution, now.


Twitter has been on the rise. I have a twitter, of course, to make sure that all 4 people that are following me will know that I'm sitting around, popping Maalox, and burning the hairs off my kneecaps with a match. It seems that the most inane commentary on someone's life is the most interesting for being so uninteresting. Someone who says they're making a sandwich and I see it's 2:30pm, I start to wonder, "Why?" "Is this someone who took a late lunch break? Did they just get up? Why don't I have a sandwich? FUCK YOU EARL."

There's other nonsensical twitters going around. One was brought to my attention through a news article about people impersonating Shaquille O'neal. For some reason, he twitters, he twitters often, and he just seems like he's doing everything at once. One moment he's eating in a cafe and the next, he's meeting the president at a strip club. Maybe not entirely correct. His "tweets" are entertaining, and a welcome addition to the mindless crap that is flung at me throughout the day.



Who doesnt want to see this as a notification?

THE_REAL_SHAQ @HoopsCoach. What up coach I'm the hooper hyper protected by viper11:32 AM Apr 15th



What? It's awesome. I hate things.

My cousin has a twitter as well and I follow him. He does more interesting things, but hooked me with:

DaveHeyne Deep down, I'm hoping- borderline praying Tyra banks gets hit by a truck. Then, and only then, we can all go home...1:47 AM Mar 5th


We can all go home now...

Not before we catch up with the myriad of ways that twitter is making a name for itself. It's even been sought after by the Google. That's a big deal. I hear they have money and continue to make money.



MOAR News: Twitter Rampage Edition Edition (TREE)

DOCTOR, PLEASE SMELL THEIR JESUS CAT.