|I mean, look at this fuckin Beard.|
There are many advantages to owning a beard. It’s a sign of maturity and being able bodied enough to get down in sex town. There’s the added benefit of always having a supply of leftovers from previous meals caught in the flavor-saver section of the beard. This eliminates the need for hunting/moving to feed yourself as often as a non-bearded man.
|Oh My God this fuckin itches. Get me a comb and a Fresca Bomb|
|PRETTY SWEET HUH?!|
The beard is masculinity incarnate. You see a guy with a beard and you automatically think he’s fashionable and slightly scary. It’s a scared you can get behind. You can hide in that beard. No one will hurt me as long as the beard is there to protect me.
|And none of this shit anymore. Shave it or don’t.|
If you’re going for the stubbly look, why not just not shave and let it happen? That’s what a real man does. I take offense to the shavers that will manage your stubble look. Doesn't a shitty shaver do the same thing? It’s like using a sledge hammer to hang a picture. Not really, but you don’t know me.